Last night I was emailed some porn that someone drew of me because I said a thing on the internet that they disagreed with. Because, there you go, ‘justice.’ When stuff like that comes your way you don’t usually say anything because who gives a fuck, but oh well, let’s do it anyway. So, I’ve seen that shit before because I’ve been on the internet for 100 years, but it always looks like this:
Give me a break! It should look like this
Kate Beaton is Queen of Internets (or at least my heart).
I don’t always write in a lot of detail about my life on here, but I feel the need to be forthright about the things that went down this past weekend. This is going to be all blubbering and run on sentences, so get ready.
On Saturday I got married to a magnificent power house/femme to be reckoned with so that we could build a life together, make art, dream big and surround ourselves with family and love — despite of the state imposed borders that have separated our lives. We are lucky that we are able to do this, but we are also doing this so that we can survive together with the few options we have been given. I can’t say too much, but I will say this: we believe that institutions are supremely inadequate in their ability to measure the love we share or the kind of love we want to cultivate.
We walked down the aisle to Fancy by Reba and we came out right at the moment in the song where she sings: “I can’t see spending the rest of my life with my head hung down in shame, I may have been born just plain white trash, but Fancy was my name” and the room exploded in cheers that filled my heart with so much love and happiness. This event, our need to survive financially and the love that people have for us and each other brought so many of us together in this past month. It was so beautiful to see people working together and to be taken care of in the way we were this weekend. Thank you forever to everyone who has helped us in any way through this process. We love you and are grateful for you more than words could ever convey.
Part of the promise we have made to each other is to love each other in the best ways we know how, and to grow in that love. An excerpt from my vows follows:
“We both challenge each other to open our hearts, love without fear and find strength in our tenderness. Watching you open that tough heart to me has been such a gift. You are a survivor, I am a survivor, and together we heal everyday.
You are a woman of great power, and your gorgeous soul is wise beyond its years. I promise to honor your wild spirit by loving you with an open hand and not a closed fist”
Learning to love in ways that don’t hurt when I have learned to love in ways that are rooted in fear has been a frustrating struggle at times, but it has also brought so much beauty and joy into my life. In his card to us, our dear friend Silas said something that really resonated with us: “Chanelle told me that getting married made her feel like she and her partner were making a promise to their community to have an accountable, loving relationship that strengthens the whole community. I feel like you two are well on your way”.
Let’s be real. Down with state imposed borders and limited state recognition of the ways that people love and create family. Down with having to ask for rights from the very systems/paradigms etc. that took them away and yes to seeking to transform that as a fucking lifestyle choice. Yes to the beautiful ways that we are coming together in love. Yes to recreating and relearning new ways of loving and supporting each other. I have seen firsthand the transformational potential of love and the power it has to rehabilitate and bring people together. We have a long hard struggle ahead of us, but I know we will not be doing it alone and that fills me with so much hope.
Te Quiero - Mario Benedetti
“si te quiero es porque sos
mi amor mi cómplice y todo
y en la calle codo a codo
somos mucho más que dos”
“if i love you, it is because you are my love,
my accomplice, my everything. And on the street,
shoulder to shoulder, we are more than two.
We are more than two”
I was going to say I didn’t know what I did to deserve this love but really, I do know. I honored myself and I made a conscious decision to stop settling for less than I desired and deserved and loved myself in a way that commanded that kind of love back.
Majestic’s love has changed me and healed me beyond what I thought possible and we’re just getting started
Trans* people are banned from flying on airplanes in Canada due to a new section in the Identity Screening Regulations that are used in airports. The section says that an airplane should not except someone as a passenger if they don’t look like the gender on their identification information.
Unfortunately, in order to change the sex marker in Canada, a person has to have proof of surgery or that surgery will be happening in at least one year. So for the trans* people that aren’t going to have surgery, haven’t been able to have surgery, or those that are gender nonconforming (or genderqueer), this makes it impossible for them to travel.
Please tell the Canadian Ministry of Transportation to change this policy immediately and let trans* people fly on airplanes! This is discrimination and it is wrong!
If you don’t sign this petition, I will personally canoe over to your house (since I won’t be able to fly) and terrorize the shit outta you with my gender.
i’ve seen a lot of misinformation and contradictory stuff going around about this issue on facebook tumblr and twitter. i think it speaks both to the advantages and disadvantages of social media and activism/social justice. but that’s a whole other kettle of fish… i’m mostly reblogging to share what other resources i’ve found re: this discriminatory law and how we should stop it.
1. first things first? it is not “new” per se, it has been on the books since July 2011. people are just calling attention to how discriminatory it is now. make sure you’ve got your facts right.
2. a lot of the criticisms aren’t addressing how hotly racialized this issue is… the debate, specifically in quebec, around women wearing the niqab in courts, classrooms, and airports is often presented as a “security” concern, arguing that male terrorists would try to disguise themselves as women by wearing a niqab or burqa. yes, this is fucked up. but it’s part of what led to the rule that states “An air carrier shall not transport a passenger if … (c) the passenger does not appear to be of the gender indicated on the identification he or she presents.” we can’t ignore that, while obviously transphobic, this is also part of canada’s increasingly racist public policies (i.e. talking about refugees as being part of “human smuggling” rings, caring about refusing entry to potentially terrorist ”boat people” while ignoring the rampant abuses of the largely underpaid and non-union immigrant labour force, etc.)
BUT! these people lay out these issues better than i do…
but you know what i think about petitions. yes, they have a purpose, but at the end of the day: call up your MP. call Minister of Transport Denis Lebel and tell him why you think this law is horrible. call up the people who have brought up these issues in the House, like MP Justin Trudeau, and tell him to put the heat on more. if you’re a canadian who votes, demand more from your “democracy.” get this off the internet, and get this law changed.